Back Up Again

These past few weeks, since 'coming to terms' with who I am, have been a terrifying emotional rollercoaster for me. It is odd to say the least. One moment I am happy doing something normal, the next I am borderline suicidal, which obviously isn't good. I figure that I need to get help somehow- the local surgery is literally five houses away, so I will go and get advice from my GP- whether I 'come clean'to him about myself will depend on my mood. I don't want to have to take my parents, I'm doing it alone for once. Half term represents the perfect opportunity.
I have 3 really good friends whom I have come out too, all female, and they have taken to it like... 'a duck to water'. They have no problems with it, and are actually really helpful, providing really important emotional, physical and mental support. Little do they realise it, but they are, ultimately, what keeps me afloat. I feel guilty for telling them, because I don't want to worry them. What is amazing about these friends is that they give me something to look forward to at the end of the day, the week, the month- whether it is Facebook chat, a text conversation, advice on a variety of feminine issues... Even the offer by two of them of going to their houses and being allowed to... Be myself. All of this means so much to me, I really can't thank them enough.
Looking on the internet these past few days, I have discovered some beautiful items and also some excellent support groups (mainly Warwick Pride, Hello! :)). Warwick Pride ia GBLT support forum, based at Warwick Uni with sections for everything, with even their own 'Trans' section, which features some fantastic topics which are genuinely interesting, such as brain scan research, social events and other contempoary trans issues. I have also been doing a lot of research on clothes to buy when I have finished shouting at Natwest... I have found this gorgeous navy blue 'chiffon' dress from Miss. Selfridge which looked amazing, only £25 too... I will hopefully get this item soon.
I have also been looking into the largely confusing world of Breast Forms and such like. My reason for this is that at my age, I am only allowed testosterone blocking hormones (the name of which escapes me) and that is assuming I get NHS and parental support, which somehow I doubt is forthcoming. These hormones will be able to block the effects of testosterone on my body, but that is all... I then have to wait until I am older still to begin HRT, however, this is still unlikely to give me much of what I should have.
Unfortunately I have to go now, but I will try and continue this in a more candid manner later.
Bye!
Billie x