Fortune

I feel like the luckiest person alive. To be sent a text, at that time, is nothing short of a miracle. Enough of that!

                           When you know who you are, and understand that you are different to the majority of others, it has mazed me how much more noticeable the subject actually is- whenever it pops up by some fluke in conversation, you can't help but wonder whether that person knows. It is probably me just being paranoid, but it honestly does! I went to an A-Level Psychology intro the other day, to discover that a section of the course is all about gender differences, and those who are neither. I definitely want to take this course, but I will need to watch myself. This could be really awkward :) However, it can also be really amusing- when someone who does not know says 'Man-up' or stop being a 'girl' or something, then adding little female related comments yourself to those who do know... Keeps me going, amuses me.. :D
                                 Looking at styles and stuff... I am quite slim, apparently I am 'dangerously underweight' according to my mother,( I am certainly not!) , which means I will have little trouble size wise, apart from the hips and bust... But all in time eh? I've thought about growing my hair, plucking eyebrows etc... Perhaps next year, when I am in a much bigger sixth form, where you actually can be individual. My current school, there is no point in this. With a year 11 of only 14, anything you do is relatively individual!!! I really like feminine clothes, not the jeans look... I like dresses, skirts, tights, leggings, soft stuff... etc, proper feminine clothes, although this is probably just me making up for lost time! I have started to try and slowly integrate my real self into my public figure... ie, ways of sitting etc. Reduce the shock on results day.

I have finally picked myself up, although Mirrors are still an issue. I just want to quite literally tear my face off whilst looking in one, but hey, with time- anything can happen!
Another musing- I would love to be able to be a mother, to bear children... To be who i am supposed to be- but that is really heavy ended stuff, not what this blog was built for.
My act has been around for ages, I just can't wait to be myself. Wearing women's underwear at school... Hmmm... :) Express yourself!

Btw, 30 Seconds To Mars are bloody geniuses, especially Jared Lento... People like him make me wonder if I am gay :P
I need to tell you my results day plans :)
Thanks for reading, and please come again!

This is Billie, signing off for what will definitely not be the last time!

Billie
XOX