Lessons have been learnt- i definitely cannot let myself get that low again, otherwise I will not be around much longer. That was, quite literally, a 'mental' weekend! Unfortunately, my plan of growing my hair has gone out of the window- I had to have a hair cut... Parents interference :(
I've been pondering about how to be myself more and more- I can't survive much more by acting. It is time to take a bow I feel- years of acting, when I should be able to at least partially be myself! I just mean by slightly adjusting things, such as my mannerisms, how I walk etc, although I already sit like a girl. I want to be able to be at ease with who I am, without the stupid male swagger and lumber I have to put on! Luckily, a close friend has volunteered to help me with this- with all this time acting 'male', it is something I have simply lost!
Thank God for AC :) x
Something that amused me today was that I managed to sign off 2 exam papers as Billie and not Billy.... Whoops :D
When My parents are not around, I am myself. I can walk in heels, I have been for a long time... I have only gone up to 4 inch though, but in time... What really annoys me is that when I shave my legs, it is sod's law that I manage to screw my knee up, which always has grazes and blood all over it. Put it down to pure grit and determination through cricket, but I don't know how it happens! :)
I can't wait to get my own stuff... I feel so much better, more relaxed, in my comfort zone when dressed up. So relaxed, it is remarkable. Just a wave of relief!
And so I leave you.
Nightie Night!
Billie xxx
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